Committing to Fear

The only way to truly progress is by facing your fear. Early in my Parkour training I hooked my feet on a monkey vault. After that, I was afraid to monkey vault on rails for almost a year. Last night, I finally faced my fear and attacked the monkey-on-rails. It wasn’t my physical ability that was holding me back; it was fear.

Fear can paralyze us. The most success I have had dealing with fear happens when I pick something that scares me visualize success and execute. Committing your self like this is not easy, but it’s the only way. Another key I have found that helps in commitment is to find things that make you feel a little safer.

Do things that scares you every chance you get. This does not mean do something stupid every chance you get, some things are scary for good reason. Those reasons are that we lack the strength or experience to perform a maneuver. However, we all have things that are in our capabilities, but are just outside our comfort zone. The only way to improve therefore is to get comfortable working outside your comfort zone.

Today, I will go to that same rail that I face planted on a year ago and monkey vault it. 

The Indefinable

Every chance I get I will talk to people about Parkour. Therefore I find myself trying to explain exactly what it is that I mean by “Parkour.” I try to express that Parkour is more than running, jumping, climbing things, but keep it short enough not to bore people. I usually say something like this:

Parkour is a holistic discipline, a system of movement similar to martial arts or dance. Parkour teaches you to move within an urban or natural environment. The majority of the training focuses on rigorous conditioning. The goal of this conditioning is to prepare our bodies for the taxing nature of the movement. In the simplest of terms the movement consists of running, jumping and climbing to overcome obstacles in your path.

However, the above definition gives the impression that Parkour is only a system of movement; this is a common misconception. I first heard from Andy Pearson of Parkour Generations that “Parkour is being the best possible version of yourself.” This means that Parkour is a lifestyle and its principles can be exemplified in any action one undertakes.

That definition I can say in about 60 seconds. It’s not the greatest definition, but it hits the main points. Mainly that the training is rigorous, the movement is dynamic and creative, but there is also an intellectual side. At the end, I use Andy Pearson’s definition though I don’t fully agree with it.

I always strive to be the best possible version of myself and Parkour is only one of many ways that I do that.

Self Defense and the Defense of Others

A few months ago my mother and I were talking about my Parkour practice. She observed that the way I was talking about Parkour was similar to the way I talked about my martial arts practice when I started it. She then went on to ask me “If you had to choose, which would you do Parkour or martial arts?”

Without a moment’s hesitation I said “Martial arts.”  This decision is not biased on one being more fun or a better work out. The reason I gave then is the same I will share now. If my mother and I were hanging out, like we were that day, and someone tried to mug us, Parkour is simply not an option.

Most any situation where I am in danger running from a fight doesn’t bother me. I would much rather risk looking like a coward than risk getting hurt or seriously hurting someone else. Even if I think I could win a fight, there are too many variables. The opponent could have a concealed weapon, have far more training than I guessed or even just get lucky. Even if I am the luck one that day and end up putting the guy in traction, courts are unpredictable. The best way to win a fight is not to get in one.

However, if I am in a situation where not only I am in danger, but also other “innocents” are as well, running is not an option for me. Parkour is a wonderful discipline for self-defense. However, I believe if you goal is to increase you utility, as is mine, it must be balanced with a discipline for the defense of others. 

The Desire to Teach

The first night of the Labor Day weekend event 2010 I had gone with Stephane Vigroux to train. After a run through OSU campus and some conditioning drills he told us we were going to do “fear drills.” He wanted us to split up and find something that was just beyond what we were comfortable with. He didn’t want us to do it yet just find something.

 After, some deliberation I found a rail with an 8 or 9 foot drop on the far side. We came back together and Stephane gave us more instruction. As a group we would go to each persons challenge. That person would get into position and the have three seconds to execute the maneuver. Then they would repeat this three times. I somehow ended up going last, after seeing these more advanced guys doing big flashy things I was beginning to think my little turn vault was inadequate, but they have always scared me.

I approached the bar and immediately locked up in my head. My goal was to execute the movement without a step on the rail. The lack of control that comes from purely vaulting the object, with no step, still surprise me to this day. I made the attempt but did a step vault. I told Stephane that this was not my goal, he told me something that I will never forget. I’m paraphrasing, it was a long time ago, but he told me to step away from the bar, don’t even look at it. Close your eyes, picture in your mind doing the vault. Then turn to the rail, open your eyes and do it. And I did it, three, not beautiful, but stepless turn vaults none the less. When I was done Stephane pulled me aside for a second as we were going to stretch down and he told me that when he had stared training, turn vaults scared him too. That was perhaps the biggest confidence boost I can imagine, being told by someone who you idolize that they once were in your shoes.

The moment I knew I wanted to teach Parkour was in the first week after that event. A friend of mine had been away for a while and had just started back at Horizons. He had been working on palm spins for a while but had never done them on a flat wall. I can’t do a palm spin at all, but I could see the same look of fear taking over his mind. So I told him “turn around, don’t even look at the wall, close your eyes, picture yourself doing this palm spin, then turn back take a deep breath and do it.” and he did it, I told him to do it two more times to be sure he had this palm spin, which he did beautifully. Helping my friend overcome that little bit of fear made me know that teaching Parkour is something I want to do for the rest of my life. The things I have learned in the last year or so of training have changed my life and I want nothing more than to spread that to anyone I can. 

Ready for Anything.

I met someone today who altered their practice to fit a lifestyle. My philosophy is to alter my lifestyle to fit my practice. I don’t mean to disparage this person, but they choose to train wearing blue jeans because they said “if I were going to need to use these skills I would most likely be wearing jeans.” I used to take this same approach to most of my training. I would wear a backpack with all my books in it, wear clothes like jeans or even skip a warm-up. I did things like this to simulate some sort of “chase.” I wanted to be ready for a sudden un-planned need to take off and go.

Now, I have adjusted aspects of my lifestyle so that I don’t need to train in this semi-reckless way. I take very deliberate steps in how I approach everything from my wardrobe to the way I carry myself. I wear golf pants to school, they look like any pair of black dress pants, but they are made of a polyester that has as much give as any sweats. I have shoes that are essentially black leather sneakers that look much dressier than they feel. Though I wear a shirt and tie to class everyday, I have shirts that are loose enough to allow maximum range of motion. Through out my day I strive to do small exercises in hopes that I will be more ready to go if need be. Obviously I am not “warmed-up” for a training session all the time, if that were true I would be sweaty and exhausted constantly. I like to think that if I did need to use my training, adrenalin would quickly get me the rest of the way to "warm."

My goal isn’t that the way I train will make me ready for anything. My training gives me the mindset to change how I live my life. These changes are what make me ready for anything.